and all i could give, was a hug...

i thought about ranting about how my "Hero" (P. Wira) gave me trouble again today..and how my 3 hour drive home end up to me 6+++ hours..but i have more important thoughts to send to cyberspace today...

i never grew up with a "Kakak" (otherwise known as domestic maid) at home. back then we had to share out the chores and all, but we had trouble getting part time helpers to help clean the kindy and nursery my mum runs, hence we hired a domestic helper.

i'm not terribly attached to my kakak though i think she is extremely efficacious, and smart given she barely had any education (while cleaning the kindergarten, she actually stands by the window and learn words the children are taught, you'll be amaze how many english/mandarin words she has picked up)

this time home though, my conversation with her made me feel terribly helpless, and angry at the same time. as we all know, alot of Indonesians, Filipinos, Vietnamese, etc., come to Msia so that their families can lead a better life.

Unfortunately, not all families are appreciative..my kakak was almost in tears as she disclose how her husband has remarried in her absence! remind you, she (my kakak) is the one working to support all her children and hubby there...furthermore, she is considering going home, cause her son wants to get married, and the dad has decided to disappear with his newly wed!

incidentally today is mother's day...and we are reminded of how much mothers sacrifice for the sake of their children, and despite sacrifices made, lil recognition is given to them.

back to my kakak, perhaps in developed countries, one could talk about women's rights etc..but where do you even begin when speaking to a women who has spent most of her life abroad working to support a family back home?...

furthermore, despite the obvious sadness in her eyes, she maintained, "i understand, i am so far away, obviously if another women cook and cleans for him, he would be attracted and want to be with her" (and i am thinking..she is her...cooking and cleaning so that you have a roof above your head!!!!)...i am tremendously upset that she has just accepted it as her fate...she claims what makes her more upset is the fact that he abandon their children as well!

at that point..all i could do was just nod...and listen, and she poured out her soul...(and that was a couple of days ago)...today before i left, i said my usual good byes, hugs and kisses to my family, and a hug for my kakak too! Though i always give her hugs before i leave, this time it felt different, i think i might have squeeze her a lil tighter, my way of showing, i care and i wish i could take your pain away, and fight for justice! In return, it felt, like if i held her any longer, she would break down in tears...

and so despite all the head knowledge we have about equality, justice, love, etc...the application as we all know is so much more challenging..and i feel terrible to be render helpless.

i hope that at least the warmth of us as her second family will comfort her soul...